Umm. So they’re not hooking up? Worse, are they?

If you’ve ever read Swamp Thing (not “New 52” Swamp Thing I don’t think but maybe), Abby and Alec hook up. A lot. They even hooked up in the movie.

But this teaser for the new show with vines covering Abby’s mouth and eyes?

I mean. Is this a Fifty Shades of Grey thing or… is “Swamp Thing” going to fail to deliver the entire reason the comic’s great? Of course it is.

ENTER ABBY ARCANE. Via: @CrystalmReed #swampthing #dcuswampthing #dcuniverse @dcuswampthing @thedcuniverse?

Shuttered on the Bayou

When I first heard about a “Swamp Thing” show, I wasn’t excited. The New 52 Swamp Thing comic was lousy, the Geoff Johns(?)-fueled reintroduction of the character into DCU proper just before was… lousy? James Wan executive producing it didn’t reassure. While I’m sure it’s possible Wan is a big Alan Moore fan (wouldn’t it be amazing if Alan Moore liked Aquaman), it’s not like the initial casting inspired confidence either.

And then the other DC Universe shows starting coming out and, utter disinterest aside, apparently “Titans” and “Doom Patrol” are actual television shows. They have budgets. Big enough ones Warner is considering shuttering DC Universe streaming, which makes sense because a dedicated DC Universe streaming channel without most of the DC live action content (CW shows) or full comic library doesn’t make much sense. If they’d made new comics available through the streaming service, I’d have signed up. Why the hell not? $10 a month is cheaper than three DC Comics.

But no, because Warner Bros. hasn’t had a good idea in a while. Maybe because their CEO was busy stalking young women.

So I was going to watch “Swamp Thing,” at least once (I don’t really do the three episode trial thing, if I’m in it for a second episode, I’m in for a fourth, three I’m in for the first seven). And now maybe I won’t, which is both a bummer and totally fine. Swamp Thing has limitless potential, we’ve seen it in the work from Alan Moore, Rick Veitch, Mark Millar, Josh Dysart. Even Nancy A. Collins and Brian K. Vaughan if you’re so inclined. But I wouldn’t trust James Wan to adapt the Martin Pasko stuff, much less the Len Wein.

But I had gotten curious….

The series was originally set for a 13 episode order at the end of May

 

The too reverential Ms. Marvel fan movie

I’m not sure I’m going to write about this Ms. Marvel fan movie. I have nice things to say but it’s not… I wouldn’t recommend it to a general audience. A Ms. Marvel fan? Yes.

The production values are good, the camera work is a little too shaky, but the acting is all pretty strong. Arshad Aslam’s really good at directing the cast. Though someone thought the scene with Bruno (Jonathan David) at the convenience store should have a Clerks feel and someone else didn’t. Like, either David did it or Aslam did it. It’s just for a second and doesn’t fit the rest of the scene. Or maybe there’s just something about scenes in convenience stores they have to go that Clerks-y way?

Sanchita Malik is an awesome lead. She makes the movie work. So the ending is really problematic. Aslam does a very literal adaptation of the source material, for better and worse (usually the worse involves the editing), so it’s “comics faithful,” it’s just a good way to do the movie. There’s such a thing as being too reverential of the source material.

Especially when it gets in the way of your movie, which has this great lead performance and the story ends up dissing her.

They’d never do it but Feige ought to at least screen-test Sanchita Malik for a legit production.

Ripley fille

Alien: Isolation; IGN; seven episodes, approx. 10 minutes ea.; 2019; streaming on YouTube.

The original video game cover art.

Anything I write about “Alien: Isolation: The Digital Series” is going to have some bit of explanation for why I would subject myself to such a viewing experience. So I might as well just get it out of the way now.

I’m an Alien sucker. Always have been. The franchise is like 2001 just with action. Sort of. You get grandiose space visuals, you get sci-fi action, you get slimy monsters. And “Isolation” is a curiosity. Ostensibly a low time investment one. It’s not a comic book, it’s not a mobile game, it’s a video game’s cutscenes assembled not into a movie but into a series of ten minute episodes. Seven of them.

The story to “Isolation”—the game and series—is Sigourney Weaver’s daughter who we only ever saw in a photograph as an old lady in Aliens, possibly holding a cat but maybe not, goes on an adventure when she’s a hot young video game lead to find the Nostromo’s flight recorder. Because it can’t mess up continuity. Though, who really cares since they didn’t get Sigourney Weaver to do a voiceover in the game and instead replaced her with some generic person. Weaver did return to do a voice for some of the game’s DLC, so… clearly she was willing to cash the video game check. But whatever.

I watched the whole series. Even if it did take about a week because I lost interest in it after the first two episodes. See, the animation is crap on a bunch of it. Alien: Isolation, the video game, is first person so they added a model of—the daughter’s name is Amanda, who is mediocrely (at best) voiced by Andrea Deck.

It says on IMDb Sigourney Weaver did the voice of Ripley Ripley in the game, so the guys who made the “Digital Series” mustn’t have wanted to pay her again.

Wow.

Cheap on so many levels.

(Unless it is Sigourney Weaver and her voiceover work is that bad, in which case she should retire immediately).

Anyway, some of the animation is fine. Some of it is crap. See the examples.

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The direction—credited to Fabien Dubois—is lousy, ditto the editing from Romain Rioult, and whatever writing Jeff Juhasz does. They added new material, which is probably whenever the cutscene stuff runs out and there’s just lousy animation with bad detail, bad dubbing, and awful walking animation.

When I first read about “The Digital Series,” I was vaguely intrigued. There’s a lot of cutscene content out there. If you rendered it special, could you easily turn video games into streaming shows?

Not if “Isolation” is any example, but it’s so lazy it’s almost like the question is still open.

I’d also heard Isolation is a good game. Wasting the brain cells watching the series, I know not to bother playing it. As time goes on—it’s the fortieth anniversary of Alien so there are various cash-in attempts (including a so far so good comic book adaptation of Gibson’s Alien 3 script)—but as we get further away from Alien (mostly Aliens) the clearer it’s becoming anything after Aliens was a mistake. Every effort since has been, if not half-assed, at least compromised.

Or just plain crappy.

Though I do suppose “Isolation”’s godawful alien movement—the actual movement of the creature—could lead to some funny GIFs.